Hello World!

When I found that my wife’s social media posts were being liked by one of her ex-boyfriends, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy and insecure. It wasn’t anything to be really concerned about, I must confess. It was only the occasional, friendly ‘like‘ on Instagram and Facebook. I wasn’t used to this sort of thing though, because life and people taught me a few things – once you’ve split ways with your significant other, it’s goodbye. You don’t message them, you don’t smile, you walk away and never interfere with their lives to keep their life whoever they may be with, sacred. As I’ve learnt first hand, that virtue is irrelevant today. Perhaps, these are lessons I must learn slowly, but surely.

So I figured, it would be a grand idea if I reached out to my ex-girlfriends too. Maybe, they’d be delighted and they would gracefully accept this as a gesture of innocent friendship, and well-wishing. A quick search on Instagram and I found my first girlfriend from 2011-2012. I sent her a follow request only to be blocked, in a record time of a couple of seconds. I later realized she was featured on one of those popular handles on Instagram that talks of people’s hardships and their victory against all odds. She poses with her husband, someone she met just months later after we parted ways. She spoke about life, and about finding true love and how beautiful life is and how she feels blessed.

Ignoring her choice to decline my ‘friend request’, choosing to block me, I maintain I have the utmost respect for my first ex-girlfriend, over any other X (My naming convention for ex-girlfriends since her, changed to X, like you’d label robots in a terminator movie).

Now, I have a few facts to tackle. I don’t have any ex-girlfriend who wants to stay in touch with me. Every memory of any girlfriend brings back strong feelings of guilt, fear and insecurity. In fact, I felt there was more to her story than she spoke. I also realize, I haven’t spoken openly and there’s a lot of mostly reasonable vent up baggage. Naturally, all of this has me riled up, visibly upset with the usual bout of depression for company.

So I decided, I would starting writing about my life because I think there is a lot of material here. It’s my friends who I’ve confided in who’ve assured me, it’s good, and I ought to do this. It’s highly entertaining, shocking, and good entertainment at my expense, but I’ll happily let that be the only positive outcome out of my experience.

I meant for this to be a book, but my procrastination and mood swings stop me from making any such progress. I’ve decided to put this together, piece by piece on this blog. If motivation finds me, I’ll attempt turning this into a book.